How Molly defeated Balthazar and gained the gypsy voice…

This story is completely true, and we all have one. More to come…

Molly was born human, which may come as a shock, especially since her parents were rare Irkutsk Hummingbirds made of copper wire and green tinsel. Once every seventeen years, their entire population would descend from the lower troposphere to nest on Russia’s eastern seaboard. Molly’s birth had been accompanied by a double eclipse, when the sun is covered by the moon twice, and some say this might have been what caused her peculiar defect, namely being born human.

For a long time, she didn’t know what her arms were for, and the other hummingbirdlings would tease her. Especially one of them…that bastard.

The rest of Molly’s tale is a little hazy, not much is known about the most exciting events of her life, but suffice to say they are filled with intrigue, adventure, a little action, romance, some comedy, perhaps some dancing in unison with large groups of people.

The story of how she gained the gypsy voice occurred after she met a demon in the form of an accountant named Balthazar. Molly realized immediately that Balthazar was not who he said he was and told him that not only was he a slime sucking demon from hell, he needed a shower and had bad taste in clothes as well. For more than a decade they battled in the darkest depths of the deepest dankest caverns, causing much tectonic plate movement and the formation of the Adirondacks, which happened with such speed and force that the whole event traveled back in time. In the end, Molly triumphed, but not without totally exhausting herself and getting really, really tired.

For seven months after all of that, Molly toured East Asia with the Bovalt Circus. There, she met an old gypsy fortune teller who sheltered her and taught her how to shapeshift.

“I see in your future,” the old gypsy muttered over a glass of tea one day, “quite a few dried, crumbled leaves and lots of hot water.”

Within three minutes, the magnificent old lady had packed up her caravan, and was on the road, as gypsy’s are prone to do. But, at two hundred yards she stopped, drew a slingshot and fired a ruby down Molly’s throat, the jewel containing a hundred silver tones and bells of a Roma orchestra. The shriek that was trying to push its way up her throat met the gem going down. Particle bonded with sound in an explosion of sub-molecular pan-vibrational energy, creating a voice that hearkened back to the days before Pharaohs, and foretold the second coming of Zoroaster.

And thusly went going just so did the story go, and so it is today.