when was the last time you saw a great american band in a mexican restaurant? Come down and catch Blamers at Pancho's tonight 9PM. 2200 n. california ave. it's our live in tijuana reenactment ceremony. well be leaving our equipment in the alley after the show for anyone who wants it.
Created by master geneticists, under Kronblarg the Odoriferank's terrible oppression, Galactopus was raised by Kronblarg himself and, when he was old enough, appointed chief bounty hunter of the infamous Pronscion Sector. For many years, this octopus of space traversed the deep reaches of the cosmos, performing Kronblarg the Odoriferank's bidding with unquestioning loyalty. Known for his cunning and bravery, he is one of the most feared beings in the galaxy.
Galactopus had always known something was missing from his life. True, he was never denied anything, for to do so would mean death for the unfortunate who refused him. But, he was ever alone, the sole creation of a genetic experiment never repeated, a Frankenstein of space... That is, until he came to Earth and found the octopi who live in our oceans. Soon, our planet became home to Galactopus too...
Here we see Galactopus after his life-changing visit to the planet Earth, on his way to defeat Kronblarg the Odoriferank, his own father. Over the years, the cold of space drained from his soul and he realized the incredible pain and cruelty he had inflicted on others. He was happy on Earth, but the weight of his misdeeds weighed heavily on his heart. He knows that confronting Kronblarg the Odoriferank could mean death, but he must pay for his cruelty, with his own life if need be...
These twin architeuthii were once the most powerful beings in the ocean. Somehow born with intellects unmatched in our solar system, they also possess the power of invincibility - as long as they are in physical contact with eachother. The bond between twins is strong, and none stronger than with these two. When they are touching, nothing in the universe can harm them.
Here we see them trapped in the Mojave Desert, a predicament they found themselves in after being out-witted by the space tyrant Kronblarg the Odoriferank. As ocean creatures, the heat and dryness should mercilessly desiccate their fragile bodies. But, as long as their tentacles touch, there is still hope...
Mr. Wattson was just like everyone else in the land of Bulbaria. Every day he'd wake up, put on a suit and tie, screw his head on tight, then he'd check the weather, grab a quick bowl of frosted copper wires and electron pops, strap himself to a balloon and head to work. It wasn't an exciting life, but Wattson didn't know that at the time. He was just a regular Bulbarian, with a regular 9 to 5 and little to regret or look forward to.
Here we see Wattson on his commute. He is late, as usual... another tick against him on his boss's growing list of grievances. But, he doesn't let that bother him. This is always the best part of his day, when the full glory of Shell City is laid out before him, and he's not going to let the vicissitudes of his mundane life ruin it. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) things are about to change big time!
Wattson Meets the Cyclops:
Cyclops are fairly common in Bulbaria, though rarely do they actually interact with the general population. As they see mainly in 7th dimension, full of neutrino ribbons and sparks of time-future, it's not easy for them to relate to others. On the rare instance that they do approach strangers, it's usually because they're hungry. As you can see, times have been tough for the Cyclops - meals have been hard to find on the only road through Darkfang Forest.
Here we see Wattson many days after his balloon popped while commuting to work over the Great Bulbarian Desert. It has been a few hours since he reached Darkfang Forest. Suddenly, a massive hand, big enough to grind him into dust, reaches out for him. Behind it, an emaciated, one-eyed giant kneels and eyes him smilingly. For a moment, Wattson thinks the Cyclops is going to gobble him up. But, as the one-eyed giant has only just finished off a caravan of gypsies (the first meal he'd had for weeks) he only wants to make friends. Wattson and the Cyclops soon become pals, but, eventually, our hero realizes it's time to move on - his cyclopean friend begins to eye him hungrily after a few days, and Wattson sees that their friendship could never survive his being eaten...
Wattson Tries Out His Giant Shoes:
When we last saw Wattson, he was average-sized. After spending a few days in Darkfang Forest, accompanying the Cyclops on day hikes and spending evenings by a roaring bonfire, Wattson decides, for his own safety, it is time to move on. However, before he leaves, his one-eyed friend teaches him a spell that all cycloptics learn on their seventh birthday (as everyone knows, the cyclops of Bulbaria are born quite normal-sized, and achieve their great height through the use of magic).
Here we see Wattson returning to Shell City after employing the Cycloptic's Double Vedic Growing Spell. As you can see, he is much larger than he should be.
Guess what everybody! If you're gay and a conservative there's now a place for you in the vacuous ether of the American right. We now have an initiative called GOProud whose mission is to "[represent] gay conservatives and their allies" through the traditional right-wing knuckle-dragging hubris of "free markets and a confident foreign policy."
In their latest post, Christopher Barron - GOProud founder and petitioner for a pass/fail grade for his freshman year PR course - posted this tidbit announcing some kind of annual gay Republican bash:
"The gay left," Barron laments, "has done their best to take all the fun out of politics, with their endless list of boycotts and protests."
Damn protestors practicing their first ammendment rights. How dare they?
"Homocon," Barron continues, "is going to be our annual effort to counter the 'no fun police' on the left."
Because nothing is more fun than the government forbidding you from getting married.